two more favourites from last week - I am not sure if I will have internet access from the hospital.
So am uploading today.
text : and for the first time, I can feel why a person may close down to the potential of life. Too tired too depleted to take an emotional risk in life. This morning, I saw it in C's eyes when he came to visit. That look of closing down.
Did the divorce knock the wind out of you?
He didn't know the expression. It's like something that breaks inside of you. Yes. He replied. Something definately broke. And me, in the past, I would have wanted to see him get back up + fight. But as I lay down on the sofa, the radiation + depression, still having their effect. I lay there somehow, for the first time, I felt no need to change + just be there. I thought of Lone. Broken too.
It's been knocked out of me : my courage, the fearlessness, the joy, that strength I have so depended on.