17 April 2009

living in gratitude 52 : breath helping depression

Today I climbed there stairs in one go... (steadily without having to stop) and today marks that I came home from the hospital exactly 2 weeks ago (it feels like it was three months ago).

Today I recognise how much stronger I am.
(this photo is taken on the second floor where there is a chair I usually rest on).

This morning, I woke up at 5.45 am from another nightmare.
After watching a funny movie, it was only 7.30 am... still feeling low I decided to put on my friend, Dorje's QI GONG DVD and did a 20 minute QI GONG session with another 20 minute guided meditation. The experience was moving as I was able to be so focused.

Dorje sells the dvd (it is a practice which got him through a major illness when he was a teenager) on dorje.com.au It is very simple and very effective.

I remember Mitch telling me two weeks ago that I should do some yoga or QI GONG to prepare me for the surgery.

Early this afternoon an Australia friend Louisa (we studied Shiatsu under the same teacher in Kyoto) came to give me some guidance in breathing / passive yoga postures. She had come over early last week and I found the yoga passive postures very comforting, for my body felt supported rather than threatened/in danger.

I told her about the doctor's appointment yesterday at Marie Curie and how depressed I have been feeling, so we really focused again, on passive postures but this time, much more focus was on the breathing. It was a very very empowering experience because, my body felt "safe" (it was well supported by pillows or the ground) and as I focused on the breath, I felt peaceful, centred... the thought kept occuring "the breath will help me out of this depression". I had felt the connection between the nurturing nature of the breath + life, and I felt that my body can be safe.

We only did about 6 postures in an hour - which means a lot of time was just spent being with the "breathing" of each posture... (which is what Dorje's Qi Gong DVD was all about).

I took this photo while lying under this extraordinary cherry blossom tree in my park on Easter Monday. The mother and father of this little new born were hanging out with their babe under the blossoms. The sun was shining between the flowers, and the parents gazed at their little miracle with such awe. A beautiful image of rebirth.

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