17 February 2009

living 6

Well, I have had better days.

It's an absolute joy to be back in NY - I had forgotten how much I love is metropolis, the interaction with the people and its visuals.

Today I spent the morning sleeping and had a PET scan in the afternoon on the upper East side, where everything medical seems to be happening for me. I'm staying with Stan + Claire (Stan calls himself someone who is "living with cancer" rather than someone "dying of cancer") with their daughter in Chelsea. (Stan + Claire have given me their bedroom as they sleep in their living room... If I was feeling better I would have refused such generosity. But at the moment, I am being very good at receiving all the generosity coming my way and being full of gratitude...) Stan came with me for the scan and thank goodness he was there...

The technician had a beautiful accent from Brooklyn and was gentle as can be.
He looked at my form and said "I don't think you are 108 years old..." in his sweet accent.
That made me laugh as 108 is a sacred number in india... a sweet little sign and a humorous one sent out to remind me that I am being taken care all along this process.

Basically I was given an injection of radiation and then a giant milkshake sized drink of white liquid to drink. As this entered my body, I asked Stan loads of questions about his life, how he met Claire etc etc...He's a good story teller and this helped me focus on something other than what was happening to me. I felt so sick and weirded out as if metal was entering my head. I thought of each person I photographed in Ozyorsk, Russia (the #65 series) whom had been radiated. (Is this what it feels like?... and this was a small dose...). I fell asleep during the scan chanting "om namo narayani" with nora jones singing on a cd in the background... surreal to say the least.

We came home through the city + it was sunset. Today being a president's holiday, there was no traffic - so we glided through to the other side of this tiny island.

Got to bed early + really felt unwell : heated and metal - like throughout my body (sort of freaked out so kept chanting om namo narayani which I have done throughout the day) . It is now 1:40am and I have woken up again, feeling better (still i sense I am glowing... less)

While I was going through the PET scan, Tobias was doing a puja for me in Berlin, Edo in India sent a message that I was being showered with prayer and puja : myself and everyone in need of good health (as I believe all this prayer has a world-wide purpose)... so maybe, with me going through this, the world is getting more prayer for healing than before : an idea that puts a smile on my face.

Love-filled messages from around the world were received. Thank you.

The images of today : from the day I spent with Dr Kannike at Sri Narayani's Mobile clinic for Maternal and Child Health visiting a village about 15 km from Peedam.

The children were clammering in front of the camera to have there photo taken and then squealed with delight as they saw themselves on the screen on the back of my camera.


Camille said...

Hello Nathalie !
Je suis heureuse de pouvoir te lire, je pense beaucoup à toi. Je suis à tes côtés. Merci pour ton blog et les photos des enfants sont supers ;-)
Ce week-end, j'ai filmé Baptiste qui chantait une drôle de chanson rien que pour toi. Je ne suis pas très à l'aise avec les vidéos : je l'ai prise avec mon appareil photo numérique (c'est Sidonie qui m'a expliqué que je pouvais faire une vidéo avec mon appareil photo) et j'ai aussi réussi à la graver sur un CD que je vais t'envoyer rapidement par la Poste. Je n'ai pas envie que Baptiste soit visionné sur le net. Les dessins sont déjà commencés ;-)
Pascal est en Corée pour quelques jours. Il a dû faire aujourd'hui une 'démonstration' d'utilisation de son produit avec un Champion du monde de Chocolat... j'espère que les Coréens sauront apprécier !
Je t'embrasse très fort,
les enfants t'envoient de gros bisous,

Anonymous said...

Hi darling - loved reading your blog and the email you sent to Nadav who passed it on - when I gave you Reiki on Friday night, it was with the specific intention to give you strength on the plane ride so I am glad to hear that worked! Keep the posts coming and keep your spirits up. Off to do a 108 chant for you. Yasmin xxx

(Text)ure and (me)aning said...

You can take Siberian ginseng
high doses of vitamin C, miso soup, Barley greens and Clipper ayurvedic tea detox tea, they will help to give you strength from the radiotherapy and to help with the side effects.. also 'Solaris' Bush flower essence for the treatment of heat from the radiation therapy.
Beautiful smiles.

Kym Hamer said...

Hi Nata

I've been living in London for the last 5 years and, being over this side of the world made me wonder what you were up to. Love this blog...there is a part of me that is sad that it was these challenging circumstances for you that uncovered this path to being in touch with you again. You sound like you have surrounded yourself with amazing people and mountains of love & support.

The funny thing is that even though we don't see each other much, I think of you often and feel that there is some kind of connection in our souls that keeps us somehow in each others lives (apart from our mothers of course - maybe we should pioneer a study of babies born next to each other - ha ha!) and that time in Paris when Mum & I saw you last really cemented that for me...you are in my heart and my thoughts and a hand to hold is always here for you.

Thanks for having the courage to share yourself on your blog too - life is all a conversation...and I'm glad to have found this one with you.

Love always

Kym xx

Natalie Cederquist said...

Hi Nathalie! Jim and I did puja with healing intentions for you tonight...Om Namo Narayani! I see all your cells perfect, it is all an illusory dance for your soul to learn from and grow> all will be well for you, just wait and see...