23 February 2009

living 11

I wasn't looking at all forward to the flight from NY to Paris (I spent most of my last day in NY in resting in bed)...

However, each corner there seems to be another surprise : Gabriella a New York friend had somehow seen on facebook that I was in the city. She called and I explained how I wasn't seeing anyone as I was feeling far too tired and that I was leaving that night. Immediately she offered to take me to JFK.

So there we were a few hours later, catching up with eachother's stories on the drive... at JFK I hugged her + thanked her so much for driving me and she replied that it was really important for her to be able to do that. It warmed me because several people have mentioned how important it has been for them when I reach out. I have not been particularly good at receiving or asking for things from others in my past life (much better at giving). Now, in my present life, I am in a situation where I need to be really clear on what I need and ask the right person for it.

As I waited for the plane, I recognised that there has been a much greater sense of the support from the invisible world. I have felt it and witnessed it in so many moments during this last week in New York. There is no fear as I feel so supported by love and people's thoughts as well as friends+family messages, and how people are being there for me. Sure, the process is very much my own experience and it helps to talk to Debra and those whom have been through the journey of cancer. The psycho-oncologist, Alicia + oncologist Mitch Gaynor have also opened amazing windows in how I relate to this process. I feel now that this is the transformation of my being taking place right now, it's no longer just an idea.

I arrived back in Paris this afternoon. It was an extremely surreal experience to be opening the door, climbing up the five flights of my appartment... I was supposed to be arriving in Australia today, and instead, there was the low clouds of Europe outside and my lovely familiar bed (which I haven't slept in in months).

Waiting on news for first meetings with the oncologists.

Photo : taken by my brother David, when we travelled to Denmark together for my exhibition at Gallerimage in 06.
David liked the girl snoozing next to him on the flight. I like the light beaming through on her and she being unaware of it.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Nuture that body and spirit of yours Natta. Lots of loving energy your way Darling from Fi, Ush, and Zoe xxx.