30 March 2009

living in gratitude 40 : 27 hours to go

A much better day today, I demanded no more morphine as the secondary effects were driving me bonkers. And today I have felt calm (phew) and been painless... it took me all this time to get to this point of pain management (which was the biggest part of these last days).

rose visited and dropped me off a new sketch book (I had filled the other one all up). New pastels (and new colours) were also delivered.

Today Edo + Jo sang some really beautiful and calming songs for me for an hour via skype (live from Bondi). They have sung in many different places but it was a first to do the skype-Paris hospital connection.

massage oils - I get massaged 3 times a day by the nurses. It has been my favourite moment as it is the only time in the day I get to lie on my side (it only lasts about 5 minutes but it is like 5 minutes of bliss).

This is taken with the zoom from my little camera - most of the day there is a door over the window (so radioactive waves don't go outside) but in the middle of treatment I ask them to open the door so I can see outside the window... and today it was sunny!

drawing : 49 hours - the tears of a lifetime

text 47 hours : the tears of a thirty one year old, the tears of a thirty two year old..... transformation to infinite harmony, infinite peace, infinite love, infinite creativity, infinite success...

text : 50 (hours) the lake of tears overflowed, it flooded, the tears covered up the rage.


maria said...

Hello my Love....
You're nearly there!
Thank you for being so courageous .
Thinking of you always...
Loving you always
Maria XXXX
PS Your little Saraswati played beautiful violin solo at a concert last night!

Anonymous said...

Attended Dawn Bikram Yoga in Bondi Junction. I sent strong thoughts your way. Then walked along the coast from Bondi to Bronte to wave off those thoughts from the cliffs of Tamarama. They probably have crossed the South Pacific already. I suspect they are high over the Chilean Andes by now. They may take a warm Gulf Stream up the Atlantic and arrive on your West or they pass by the Cape of Good Hope and arrive a bit later from your East. Either way, you'll get them soon.

Anonymous said...

Kisses to you Nathalie. xoxoxo

Anonymous said...

Dearest Nat,
You're on the home run now . . Thinking of you every single day and sending you all our love from across the river.
V, M, N, E, + S
The Matijas Family